Love and Alzheimer’s: April 2019

Wednesday, April 3:  I had a colonoscopy a little over a week ago. The doctor found a tumor, probably cancer. I just had a CT scan and it came out that it has not spread. Dr. Mullin thinks that it is stage 1 and I see a surgeon tomorrow about getting it removed. I feel pretty good though not real strong. I have been able to take care of Vera and she is doing pretty well. Helen watched her yesterday when I did the scan and Diane was with her during the colonoscopy. Hopefully the surgery won’t be a drawn out affair.

I am a bit freaked out but probably not as bad if I did not meditate and my attitude is positive for the most part. It is difficult because the thought is always popping into my head. I enjoyed going to Brentwood for the scan yesterday. No traffic both ways and saw a large flock of birds take off from a tree that I was walking by. 

I met a nice lady waiting for the test. She was interested in my books and she told me a story about her uncle William Sebold, who was a double spy for the Americans against the Nazis during World War 2. He was born in Germany but had become an American citizen. He went to visit his mom in Germany in 1939 and they recruited him to go back to the US as their spy and taught him short wave radio and other espionage techniques. They threatened to expose to America that he had been arrested when he was young, which would have possibly resulted in his expulsion, but he reported right away to the American consulate and the FBI hired him as a counter spy. He helped arrest 33 German spies after working under cover once back in America. I checked on it afterwards on a Google search and it was all true. After the war he went into witness protection and they put him in a house in Walnut Creek, which was a very small town at that time, mostly countryside. He lived the rest of his life there.

Vera and I have not been having much sex but have been kissing and hugging often. I wrote the following for Vera for our anniversary before going to the hospital. Our anniversary was the day after I got home from the hospital but I had already printed it onto a pretty love card to give to Vera on the 12th.

The music dances in melodic mazes

When I see you waking in the morn

A feast for my eyes so amazes

I look forward to each and every dawn

The stillness echoes with love vibrations

Breathing the light from its source

Being with you is more than elations

Like Jedi’s juiced from the force

The magic reveals your lovely surrender

You depend on me to decide

Somehow you’ve created so much splendor

And it’s me who beckons at your side

The beauty you create is all around

Spring signals to shield you in my arms

The sky, the trees, the lake, the ground

Feeling your heart beat with cherubic charms

Basking together in sunlight it’s only us

Knowing that I don’t have to expound

This feeling divine the essence of trust

It feels like a state of grace surrounds

Being with you is the realm of the bless

Knowing that you I have found

We stay intertwined for an eternal yes

You and me my love forever bound

Monday, April 22, 2019.  I’ve been back home from the hospital for over ten days now. I am getting stronger even though not as quickly as I would like of course. The surgeon was able to get me in the following week on April 9, as she had a cancellation. There was some fuck up during the surgery where they could not find the tumor for some time and took out too much colon compared to what they needed to. The surgery was nine hours. I was doing well after surgery and they were going to let me go home the next day but then I had some bleeding and they kept me another night, which was OK with me. The bleeding subsided and Tim picked me up.

He spent the night but after that I was again taking care of Vera full time. Helen did come over to bathe her once. We have been walking once or twice each day and I am almost on my regular diet just no smoothies yet because after trying one it was a little difficult, too much gas. I’ve been pooping every morning again and it’s been better than expected. I did have a little blood this morning but think it was probably from the hemorrhoid. I have had pain but not to the extent that I wanted any pain killers. I took a Vicoden the first night and then a couple of ibuprofens, but think that gave me bad nausea and pain and I threw up for the first time in years. I have not had an ibuprofen since and no pain like that again.

Vera is doing OK. Her kids did fine taking care of her though Catia was a bit crazy thinking Vera would wander and could not sleep and Vera does not wander anyhow, especially at night. We have been kissing and hugging again. I haven’t had any sexual appetite but maybe soon.

We have been watching a lot of basketball and baseball and continue to watch shows on Netflix, like the Umbrella Academy. We also got HBO for a month to watch the final season of Game of Thrones. I am enjoying the book DODO by Neal Stephenson and Nicole Galland, a book about witchcraft and quantum physics.

Saturday, April 27:  We are doing OK. Getting out for walks, driving to store and taking little naps. I’m slowly getting stronger. I have less patience for Vera when I am tired but managing OK. I gave her a shower yesterday and that went smoothly. Got an extra $1700 from mom’s old bank account that went out of probate. I like getting surprise money like that. The Warriors finally beat the Clippers last night and will face the Rockets next.